Bathroom. I have to use the bathroom. My bladder kept telling me this, but I knew it was only 10 minutes until lunch and I didn't want to run upstairs to use the bathroom and then run upstairs again to go to lunch. It's so much better to do both at the same time. So I waited 10 more minutes. When 1:00 rolled around I shot out of my office like a bullet, raced upstairs, into the bathroom and into stall #1 (I was not about to travel any farther than I had to). I did my business and then reached for the toilet paper.
Nothing.
What? This could not be! I reached my hand higher up in the dispenser thinking that perhaps the new roll just never dropped down.
Still nothing. I had no toilet paper.
All I could think of at that moment was an episode of Seinfeld when Elaine is in the bathroom and there's no toilet paper. She asks the woman in the stall next to her if she could "spare a square".
"Oh crap!" I thought. "That is going to be me!"
Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), there was nobody else in the bathroom let alone anyone in the stall next to me who could kindly hand me a square. That meant I was simply stuck.
Stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper. What was I to do? Multiple ideas quickly formed in my head as to how I could handle this situation:
1 - There is a tiny piece of toilet paper on the floor next to me. Should I use it? My decision: NEVER! I would rather die first!
2 - Would I have enough time to run out of my stall and into the next stall before someone entered the bathroom and caught me with my pants down? My decision: Too risky.
3 - Do I crawl under the wall into the next stall to avoid having to leave the stall altogether? My decision: Would anyone want to crawl on a dirty bathroom floor with their pants down?
4 - Do I sit here and just let myself air dry? My decision: A definite possiblity, but one that would take way too long. But then again, what other choice did I have?
Just as I was about to concede to the idea of waiting it out, I looked up....
Seat Protectors! They do more than just protect your seat!
10 years ago
7 comments:
That's so funny! You're very lucky that didn't happen to you over here. We don't have seat protectors! I've always thought we should have them, and you have just confirmed that thought. Clearly they have multiple uses!
That was so funny.
Camille you are hilarious.
Seat protectors have also saved me a time or two...
Good thinking!! I would never crawl on those bathroom floors....You made the right choice. Although, running into the next stall seems like the next best alternative!
Oh so much of life is examined through Seinfeld.
So hilarious!! You certainly formulated quite a few solutions. haha, thanks for posting!
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