I had an epiphany yesterday. I was sitting in church surrounded by a bunch of single people and I was thinking to myself, 'I hate it here'.
I wasn't thinking 'I hate it here' as in, I hate church. I was thinking 'I hate it here' as in, I hate the fact that I am still single and every stinking person in this ward other than the bishopric is younger than me. But that wasn't the cause of my epiphany.
Our ward changed buildings yesterday. We went from meeting in a nice traditional building, to meeting in an Institute building. When I walked into my sunday school class and saw the desks, I was about ready to bolt. What's wrong with desks? Nothing really. It just took me back to my college years when I was a young twenty year old. Back then we also used to meet in the institute building for sunday services. Then it was hip and fun. Now it just makes me feel old.
In six weeks I will turn 31. Despite what some people would like me to believe, 31 is not old. I feel like I am in the prime of my life. But every sunday when I go to church I always feel old. I am tired of being surrounded by 18-25 year olds who are always complaining that they are "so old!" I just want to turn to them, put my hands around their neck and say "SHUT UP! If I have to listen to you anymore, you'll never get the chance to know old!!!" But...how christ-like would that be, especially while sitting in church? So instead of allowing myself to show a public display of animosity towards them, I simply lower my head, roll my eyes and mutter "Get me out of here!" about twenty times. It never helps.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my ward. I enjoy most of the people in my ward. But I don't enjoy feeling like I am stuck in a time-warp. Meeting in the institute building is what did it for me, I think.* I feel like my life is going backward instead of forward. It's time for me to move on to greener pastures. It's time for me to find the man of my dreams and settle down. And most importantly, it's time for me to face the reality of my age and go to a family ward.
It's time to move forward. Who's with me?
*Well, that and sitting through fast and testimony meeting where a 24 year old college student proclaimed that he would like to "bury" his testimony.
10 years ago
6 comments:
Sad to say but I'm not that far behind...
They've kicked out everyone over 31 out of my ward, yeah 90% of my friends are gone.... I'm starting over right now and I never swapped wards. Not a fun feeling!
What does "bury" your testimony mean? WOW! I even feel old in my ward dear, and I'm 26. I can imagine how it must feel. Good luck with the transition. I think it's a good move. :)
Bee (I mean "singingmame"),
I think the guy meant he'd like to "bear" his testimony. You know how kids say bury instead of bear? That's what this guy did. I about fell off the bench!
I've been thinking that for quite a while now but the only thing scarier than going to a singles ward alone is going to a family ward alone.
I do feel for you, the tranistion in to your 30's is hard! It's not that we're old (at least I hope not), you just start to feel that there are certain things you should have done by now. I am 32 and I'm single. There are so few LDS members in my area and none of them are hot single men. However, as I keep being told, we make our own destiny so I guess we'll just have to put ourselves out there and hope the men of our dreams find us! Lets hope that happens before we reach 40! ;)
Oh Camille. You are so funny and so profound all at the same time. There is no way that you are one bit old! I know you will find the best in any ward that you go to.
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