[Editor's Note]: In order to tell this story I am going to have to divulge a little more information about me than I really care to. Some may laugh and some may be shocked but it's okay...judge me all you want. I'm woman enough to take it.
An old guy friend of mine came to visit yesterday.* Our history goes back seven years to the time when we were both young college students at Utah State. We were the best of friends and spent a lot of time together. Throughout all the time we spent together I began to fall in love, and I don't say that loosely. The problem, however, was that he wasn't in love with me. I'm sure most of you have experienced that at some point in your lives. Anyway, despite our rather complex history we've managed to stay in touch over the years - usually once every couple of years. A week ago yesterday I decided to drop him an email. He called, I wasn't home. We ended up playing phone tag during the week and then yesterday we finally managed to connect. He came over to my house for three hours yesterday afternoon where we talked, caught each other up on our lives and laughed - a lot. It was as if time hadn't even passed and we were still those two young college students from seven years ago.
At one point in the conversation he looked at me and asked, "So have you gotten any better at dating?"
"What?" I said.
"Remember how at Utah State you were really shy about dating?"
"Oh, yes. I've gotten better."
What I didn't tell him was that I still don't date but it's not because I'm shy about it...it's because guys are dumb.
"Have you kissed anyone yet?"
Seven years ago we had a similar conversation and it came out that I had only kissed one guy. Ever since then he's always been curious to know if I've kissed anyone else.
"No I have not."
"What? Why?"
"I don't know why. I just haven't."
"Well, we just need to kiss and get it over with!"
In the split second I had before needing to respond to that, my thought process went something like this: Is he joking? Is he serious? Stay cool, be calm, don't blush...
I laugh. He laughs.
"Um, okay..."
It came out kind of sarcastic as if I was saying "yeah right, that's never going to happen" which wasn't at all how I intended it to sound.
"Seriously, you just need to kiss a guy and then all your problems will be solved."
"It's not that I don't want to kiss a guy, but the guy has to want to kiss me too."
"There are plenty of guys out there who want to kiss you."
"Really? I don't think so."
"Trust me. That's not the problem."
Thought process: what is he saying? Does he want to kiss me? This is awkward.
My split second was up, but it just so happened that right then he needed to blow his nose so he walked into the bathroom and shut the door. I was sweating to death so I asked him if he was hot. He said no, he was fine. I walked over and opened a window to cool off the house a little, telling him I was sweating to death. To which he replied, "That's just because I told you we should kiss!"
Thought process: Heaven help me.
For the record, we didn't kiss. But just in case that happens again, I need to know of a better way to respond.
Oh, and walking up to him and planting one on him is not an option.
*I really, really hope that he never reads my blog.
10 years ago
10 comments:
This is actually pretty romantic! He is obviously really in to you and couldn't care less who you have or haven't kissed. Seems to me he was sounding you out to see how you felt about him!
My response would be to get on the phone and arrange another "date". Tell him you feel odd about how you two parted and see if he makes his move. You never know, he could be 'The One' (I don't actually believe that there is only one person for each of us, but you know what I mean).
I love situations like this. I'm actually excited for you. You owe it to yourself to pursue this. PLEASE let me know what you decide to do. :)
I'm not sure how I would have responded, either. Kinda awkward, kinda funny/cute situation at the same time. Maybe call him on it and see how he responds.
Wow. You and I really are so similar in so many ways. Not that I've had this specific situation happen to me, but similar enough.
My advise, I would contact him somehow. However you feel is appropriate. And just say, "I've been thinking about your proposition. And although it does sound appealing. I think it's about time you take me out first." Something like that. He needs to take you out for goodness sake! And I agree. Sounds like he's into you and just feeling out the situation. Good luck!
Another option would be to text him and say "what would you have done if I had actually agreed to kiss you? Were you toying with me or what?" And start the flirting from there... :)
Oooh, I like Tandy's last paragraph. You should try that. :)
Oh boys are soooo awkward! (is that how you spell that?) I agree with the above (unless he is dating someone? you didn't mention his status). You should def persue this. Does he live near you? If this ever happens again just say that you don't kiss on the first date, let alone a non-date and he'll have to take you out if he wants to mack!
Um...I'm pretty sure I know who this guys is! Obviously he isn't married yet. But he is still playing his old games!! I say play along with him!!!
Dang, I'm trying to narrow it down, who was it? :)
Um....are you going to update us on this situation since you decided to include us in your mystery romance? :) I certainly hope so sista! ;) Can't wait!
Tandy, there are no updates. Remember how I said we catch up once every couple of years? Don't expect too much out of this! :)
Thanks for all your thoughts and opinions! I was really thrown with the whole kissing thing and I just wanted other opinions. I'm not sure what it means and I'm not sure I'll do anything about it at this point. I've been through this with him before and I know better than to get my hopes up. :)
hahahaha.....oh my gosh I don't even know what I would do! I'd probably just sweat to death too.
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