Oh The Stupidity...

Picture this...

You are driving down State Street with a friend. The two of you are chatting, not really paying attention to anything around you when all of a sudden you notice a guy on a motorcycle right in front of you. He has both hands on the handlebars (gear shift, gas...whatever you call it) but something seems wrong with his head. His right ear is touching his shoulder and he's driving with his head completely sideways. You look closer and say to your friend,

"Is something wrong with that guy?" She looks up and says,

"I don't know. Is he talking on his phone?"

"No way, he couldn't be!"

"Then why is he driving like that?"

"I don't know!"

At that moment you notice the guy lift his head, bring his hand up to his ear and GRAB HIS PHONE!!! Keep in mind this entire time you are behind him only going about 15mph on a 40mph road.

So he grabs his phone and then proceeds to try and put it in his back pocket, while he is still driving down the road 15 mph. He speeds up, slows down, speeds up, slows down. Finally he slows down so much that you nearly crash into the back of him. So, you lay on your horn. The guy hurries and speeds up to about 25 mph but then has to stop at a red light.

You pull up behind him and both you and your friend are practically cursing his name up and down. How could he be so stupid? Why would anyone try to talk on a phone while driving a motorcycle!?!? The questions keep coming when you all of a sudden notice that he's turned around on his motorcycle and he's SMILING at you!

You turn to your friend, she turns to you and says,

"Does he think we are flirting?"

"No, he couldn't be that dumb!!"

You both give him the evil eye, he turns back around and then proceeds to check himself out in his rearview mirror. Really, he's not that much to look at and both of you are starting to feel nauseous.

The light turns green, he starts to go and you can't take anymore of his antics so you decide to take a different route home. As you turn left at the light you say to your friend,

"On top of being a complete moron, the guy wasn't even wearing a helmet!"

"I'm pretty sure there wasn't much up there that needed protection." she replies.

You both laugh and drive on.