Ryan and Me: Chapter Fifteen

I'm sure many people assumed Ryan and I would immediately start dating the second he emerged from the water on his baptism day. Though I did feel like I could now date him, I still felt somewhat conflicted. I knew some of his family and friends had expressed concern to Ryan that they felt he was only joining the church for me. We both knew otherwise, but because of these concerns I was still very guarded. I didn't want to give anyone a reason to believe they were right when clearly they were wrong.

We did talk about things shortly after his baptism and we did decide to try dating though still not seriously. I had it in my mind that I wanted to date other people, even though Ryan made it very clear he did not. After a couple of months of doing that, I realized there wasn't anyone else I wanted to date so we made it "official" the beginning of January.

I won't say that our relationship has always been peaches and cream. We have definitely had our ups and our downs. But despite that, we know how to balance each other out and I think that is why we work so well. The only issue I ever had in regards to our relationship was the fact that I am slightly taller than him. You all might laugh in my face, but this was something that was quite difficult for me to overcome. The reason being, I have always been the tall one in my family. I'm taller than both my parents by an inch or more and all of my sisters by about four or five inches. Only my two brothers are taller than me. I have always felt like the giant when surrounded by my family and because of this I longed for a man who could make me feel small.

In the beginning of our relationship I always seemed to be concerned about what other people might be thinking if they saw us together. Would we look cute together? Or would we look like a really odd couple because I was the taller one? But the more time we spent together, the more I began to realize that I didn't think about it as much. I also began to pay more attention to other couples around us and I realized that there are many women who are taller than their boyfriends/husbands! It clearly wasn't as big a deal as I was making it.

Now with several months of dating under our belts, I can truthfully say that our difference in height doesn't bother me anymore. There are still some things that I won't do, like wear heels around him, and there are some things I still wish I could do, like bury my head in his chest when I'm crying. But in the grand scheme of things, none of that is important. Ryan may not be the tall guy I someday dreamed of dating but he is and does so much more than I ever dreamed of: he is always sensitive to my needs; he is patient; understanding; kind; willing to help others; he cooks; he cleans; he goes shopping with me; he goes to plays and ballets; he loves the Lord, he loves the gospel and, he loves me.

I never expected Ryan to become part of my life in this way. If you told me two years ago this would happen I would have laughed in your face. But I could not be more grateful or feel more blessed than I do right now. Short or not, Ryan is my perfect match. There is not another guy in the world who could deal with me and my split personalities as well as he does.

I don't know what the future holds for us yet but I am excited to find out.