Ryan and Me: Chapter Six

Editor's Note: The next few chapters will cover the time period where Ryan and I hung out as friends outside of work. I obviously won't be able to share every detail of what we did or every detail of the many conversations that we had, but my hope is that I can share that which was (to me at least) the most pertinent to his spiritual journey and the feelings I was having through it all.

Chapter Six

The first time Ryan and I hung out, outside of work, was on July 3, 2010. He had invited me to go hiking with him up the Bells Canyon trail. That morning, however, I wasn't feeling remarkably well. In my attempt to think of an alternate plan just in case I couldn't do a strenuous hike, the idea popped into my head to go to Silver Lake. So when Ryan came to my house to pick me up, I told him I wasn't feeling well and asked if we could alter our plans. True to his easy-going nature, he said that wouldn't be a problem at all. I asked if he'd ever been to Silver Lake before and he said no, so off we went to enjoy our very first adventure together.

Due to being a holiday weekend the lake was quite crowded, but we still managed to walk two laps around the lake before finding a bench in the cool shade to sit on for a bit. During this brief pause we talked more about each other. It was at this point that I told him that if he really wanted to get to know me, my religion would get brought up on occasion because it is a huge part of who I am. I also told him, however, that I would never try and push it on him. He thanked me for that and said that is one thing that offends him most: pushy people. I told him again that I wouldn't push my beliefs on him, but at the same time, I wouldn't hide them from him either.

I knew this was going to be a challenge for me because I liked him and I wanted to date him. But I also knew I couldn't. I didn't want to "flirt to convert" as people like to say. I didn't want him to join the LDS faith simply because of me. I knew he had to want it for himself. That meant I would have to let him approach the topic with me in his own time and in his own way, knowing full well that he may never do it. And I had to be okay with that.

After our brief pause we continued our walk and it was then that I decided to invite him to go to Music and the Spoken Word with me the next day. My sister had called me earlier and suggested that I invite Ryan. She said he might enjoy it because it would be mostly patriotic songs instead of really churchy ones. So I took her suggestion and asked if he'd be interested in going. He hemmed and hawed for quite awhile. It actually took a couple hours of contemplation on his part before he eventually agreed to go.

The next day, Sunday, July 4th, he picked me up and the two of us went to Music and the Spoken Word, our second adventure together. I thought it was amazing! I had felt the Spirit so strongly and after it ended I kept hinting at how it had made me feel. I said something like, "Wow. I had to hold my hand over my heart just to keep it from popping out! I need to sit here for a minute and let this feeling sink in." Though I really did feel that way, my hope in telling him that was that he would recognize that same feeling in himself and say something. But instead all I got back was how he really liked the part in God Bless America where it crescendoed really loud. Right then I knew it was going to take a lot more patience on my part. This was something I couldn't rush.

Ryan and I ended our adventure to the Music and the Spoken Word with a walk atop the roof of the Conference Center. I had never been up there before and it was not only breathtaking, but absolutely serene. Neither of us could believe that it was possible to stand on top of a roof in a busy city and feel so much peace and hear nothing but the birds chirping and the wind blowing. Where was the sound of all that traffic zipping past us down below? It was a very spiritual experience for both of us in our own unique ways.

This past July 4th weekend we went back to Silver Lake and to Music and the Spoken Word to celebrate our first two adventures together - one year later. It was really fun to go back and re-live those moments and see not only how far Ryan has come but to also see how far we have come in our relationship as well.

But before we can talk about where we are now, we need to get back to how we got here. And we did that, quite literally, by driving.