Ryan and Me: Chapter Two

Editor's Note: The next three chapters are going to consist of the different ways in which I attempted to get to know Ryan better: "chance encounters", email, and lunch time visits. With each, I will share a few moments that stand out to me as being the most significant, since I obviously can't share everything. I figured that breaking each down into smaller posts would make it easier to read and follow. I will try to keep everything as chronological as possible, but there may be some slight overlap in using this format.

Chapter Two: The "chance encounters"

For a few years Ryan's office was right next door to mine and we probably saw each other in the hallway only a few times a month. Now that his office moved down to the other end of the hallway it seemed as though we ran into each other less frequently. Therefore, I knew I had to go to drastic measures if I wanted more opportunities to talk to him. Over the next couple of weeks I went out of my way to bump into Ryan where ever I could.

The Monday following the Friday in which he came and fixed my computer is the first "chance encounter" we had. I had to run up to the 2nd floor from my basement office. Instead of taking the stairs closest to my office, I had the thought to take the stairs on the other end of the hall closest to Ryan's office. As I turned from the hallway to head up the stairs, there he was trotting down the stairs. He stopped me and asked how my weekend was and we ended up talking for 20 minutes. I learned about what he was majoring in, where he lived, what bus he rode to work, what languages he wanted to learn, and that he loves to sit outside and read. At that point I actually noticed a book in his hand so I asked him what he was reading. Almost embarrassedly he moved the book closer to his side and said, "Oh, nothing you'd be interested in."

I don't know about any of you, but when someone says something like that to me, it makes me even more curious to know what it is. So I pressed the issue. "What? Why? What is it?" I asked, all the while looking at the book trying to get a glimpse of the title. He finally turned the book toward me and showed me the title: Godless. Not knowing quite what to say, I simply nodded my head and said, "Hmmm...interesting." He then said, "It's about Atheism".

"So he's an atheist then?" I thought to myself. But before I could actually ask the question, he changed the subject. That moment never left my mind though. I felt like I had my answer as far as religion went. I hadn't thought he was LDS but now I knew for sure he wasn't. I didn't know exactly what to make of that. This newfound knowledge of his faith - or lack thereof - still never thwarted my plans to get to know him better. If anything, it made me want to become his friend even more. I didn't want to sit him down and tell him he was wrong to not believe in God (if, in fact, he didn't). But I did want him to feel like he could talk to me without feeling like he would be judged or ridiculed. I didn't want him to feel like he had to hide his books from me or change the subject every time faith or religion got brought up. So, even though I now definitely knew I could never date him, I also knew I could not give up on him. Perhaps he was searching for something he felt was missing in his life. If so, then I needed to be there for him.

After that initial "chance encounter", I still continued to go out of my way to run into him. Sometimes it worked but most often it didn't. I found that the harder I tried to run into him, the less often I did. Instead, our "chance encounters" actually ended up being exactly that - chance encounters. It seemed I was constantly running into him whenever I didn't plan to: while out taking my morning walks, passing down the hall in the Student Union, etc. For two or three weeks this kept happening. And each time it did, it gave us more time to talk and get to know each other better.