In addition to the "chance encounters" that occurred around campus, I also decided one day to send Ryan an email. It happened to be the day after our first encounter on the stairs where I found out he was possibly atheist.
I don't recall the exact reasons, but for one reason or another all my co-workers had left early that day and I ended up being alone in the office from about 2pm on. It was a slower work day - they typically are in the summer - and so I felt myself starting to go stir crazy with nothing to do and nobody to talk to. I would have normally emailed a good friend of mine to help distract me, but she happened to be out of town on vacation. So not knowing where else to turn, I decided I would gutsy up and email Ryan.
In one of our previous conversations on the stairs we had been joking about how he felt he is good for nothing other than fixing computers and making me laugh. So I used that. I told him I was bored, needed some entertainment and since he felt he was only good for fixing computers and making me laugh, I figured he'd be perfect for the job.
I sent off the email and then waited. I can honestly say that was one of the most nerve wracking moments of my life. I was so nervous about how he would interpret that email. Would he think me too forward? Would he think me too crazy? I had so many anxieties running through me at that moment that I couldn't even sit still. I physically had to leave my office and walk around outside. I was shaking my hands like crazy as if that was going to help dispell the nerves that were taking over. I had to take several deep breaths and try to focus my mind on other things.
After about 20 minutes I went back into my office. I sat down at my desk, fiddled my mouse so my computer monitor would turn back on, and then took a deep breath and glanced at my email icon. I had a message. I took another deep breath and opened it. It was from Ryan. The smile that came across my face while reading it was enough for me to know I had nothing to be anxious about. His email completely put me at ease and I knew right then that we were going to be great friends.
From that point on email continued to be an important form of communication for us through the first few months of our friendship. We both felt that when we couldn't articulate our thoughts or feelings verbally, we could do so via email. We had many deep and thought provoking conversations this way*. Gradually the emails died down as we became more comfortable talking face to face, but I will never forget (or delete) those many emails we sent in the early stages of our friendship. I love having those conversations written down where we can go back and read them and be reminded of how this all began.
* Sometimes when I couldn't sleep because I was worried that something I may have said to him may have come off wrong, I would sit in bed with my laptop and type my thoughts up in an email. I'd send these off at midnight or later thinking he'd get them in the morning. It wasn't until months into our friendship that I realized he gets email on his phone and all those late night emails I sent probably woke him up. Oops...
I don't recall the exact reasons, but for one reason or another all my co-workers had left early that day and I ended up being alone in the office from about 2pm on. It was a slower work day - they typically are in the summer - and so I felt myself starting to go stir crazy with nothing to do and nobody to talk to. I would have normally emailed a good friend of mine to help distract me, but she happened to be out of town on vacation. So not knowing where else to turn, I decided I would gutsy up and email Ryan.
In one of our previous conversations on the stairs we had been joking about how he felt he is good for nothing other than fixing computers and making me laugh. So I used that. I told him I was bored, needed some entertainment and since he felt he was only good for fixing computers and making me laugh, I figured he'd be perfect for the job.
I sent off the email and then waited. I can honestly say that was one of the most nerve wracking moments of my life. I was so nervous about how he would interpret that email. Would he think me too forward? Would he think me too crazy? I had so many anxieties running through me at that moment that I couldn't even sit still. I physically had to leave my office and walk around outside. I was shaking my hands like crazy as if that was going to help dispell the nerves that were taking over. I had to take several deep breaths and try to focus my mind on other things.
After about 20 minutes I went back into my office. I sat down at my desk, fiddled my mouse so my computer monitor would turn back on, and then took a deep breath and glanced at my email icon. I had a message. I took another deep breath and opened it. It was from Ryan. The smile that came across my face while reading it was enough for me to know I had nothing to be anxious about. His email completely put me at ease and I knew right then that we were going to be great friends.
From that point on email continued to be an important form of communication for us through the first few months of our friendship. We both felt that when we couldn't articulate our thoughts or feelings verbally, we could do so via email. We had many deep and thought provoking conversations this way*. Gradually the emails died down as we became more comfortable talking face to face, but I will never forget (or delete) those many emails we sent in the early stages of our friendship. I love having those conversations written down where we can go back and read them and be reminded of how this all began.
* Sometimes when I couldn't sleep because I was worried that something I may have said to him may have come off wrong, I would sit in bed with my laptop and type my thoughts up in an email. I'd send these off at midnight or later thinking he'd get them in the morning. It wasn't until months into our friendship that I realized he gets email on his phone and all those late night emails I sent probably woke him up. Oops...
2 comments:
Grrr, for some reason I'm not being notified when you update your blog. It's really annoying!
I'm really enjoying reading about your relationship with Ryan. It's so great that you have documentation of your email conversations. As your relationship moves on you'll start to forget those early conversations so it's great that you'll have them to look back on.
I'm looking forward to Chapter 4. :)
I've been reading your blog and i can't wait for each new chapter. This is all so very exciting.
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