Who's Your Daddy?

See this little character? Oh my gosh, he is the funniest kid I know! There is never a dull moment around when he's talking. He's two going on 15 and talks like he's 30. I've been part of a couple funny conversations with him lately that I just had to write down. I know that stories aren't nearly as funny written down because you can't really document the facial expressions or tone of voice but for this first conversation, just go ahead and picture his face like it is in this picture...

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Conversation #1:

Me: "Where is your daddy?"
Nephew: {Looks around the room and points to his dad}
Me: "Where is my daddy?"
Nephew: {Looks at Ryan and points} "Is HE your daddy?"

*Ryan and I burst out laughing but don't feel the urge to explain why to a two year old*

Me: {Through my laughter} "Nope, he is not my daddy. Do you know who my daddy is?"
Nephew: {Gives me a confused look} "Who?"
Me: "My daddy is your grandpa."
Nephew: "Grandpa?"
Me: {Pointing at my dad} "Yeah, see grandpa right there? He is my daddy."
Nephew: {Same confused look} "Grandpa is your daddy?"
Me: Yes. Do you know who else has grandpa as a daddy?"
Nephew: "Who?"
Me: Your mommy! Grandpa is your mommy's daddy"
Nephew: {With the look he has in the above picture} "GRANDPA is my mommy's DADDY?!?!?!"

*Entire room bursts out laughing*

Me: Yep! And he is also Aunt Tricia's daddy, and Uncle Derek's daddy..."
Nephew: {Pointing to his Uncle Derek} "Who's that?"
Me: "That is Uncle Derek"
Nephew: "Uncle Derek?"
Me: Yes. It's kind of confusing though huh because he {pointing to Tricia's husband} is also Uncle Derek. You have two Uncle Dereks"
Nephew: {pointing at one then the other} "He's Uncle Derek and he's Uncle Derek too!"
Me: That's right"
Nephew: "Same name, same shirt!" {They were both wearing white button down shirts}
Me: "That's right. Same name, same shirt."
Nephew: {Looking a little more closely at them both} "And same hair...And same FACE!!!"

*Entire room bursts out laughing again*

Two guys with the same name, same shirt, same hair and same face? No wonder the kid is confused!

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Conversation #2

This conversation was more with my dad than me. In fact, it goes with this picture:



As you can see, he is sitting on the top of a giant box and my dad (sitting behind him) kept trying to pick him up and take him off. Finally he turned to my dad and said this to him:

Nephew: "Don't take me off grandpa! Don't you do it! You may want to, but don't you do it!!"
Grandpa: "Or what?"
Nephew: "I will put you in time out!"
Grandpa: "Do you even know what time-out is?"
Nephew: "Yes!"
Grandpa: "Have you ever been in time-out?"
Nephew: "Maybe... {then holding up two fingers}...this many times"