Yesterday was Mother's day and to all of you who are mothers out there, I hope you had a wonderful day! I look forward to someday being able to celebrate this day with you, as an actual mother.
Mother's Day started years and years ago (I can't tell you how many years ago because it was way before I was born and I'm too lazy to look it up) as a way to honor mothers and celebrate motherhood. Mothers put in so much time in raising their children. They sacrifice, they love, they teach, they praise. A righteous mother is, by my standards at least, the best leader of the world. She raises her children to be smart, couragous, kind, generous, and strong. I've seen this example of a mother in my own mom as well as in her mom (my grandma). And as my sisters have married and had children of their own, I have also seen them become this same kind of mother. I feel grateful every day to have been surrounded by so many righteous mothers throughout my life and I look forward to Mother's day each year so that I can honor these mothers.
But here is what now bothers me about Mother's Day. I don't understand why I (a single, childless woman) am now being honored on a day traditionally set aside for Mothers.
I understand that in todays world people expect to be treated equally and fairly. I get that nobody wants to leave anyone out or make someone feel like a lesser person because they don't happen to have what the person next to them has. I get that nobody wants to offend anyone. I get it. But the truth of the matter is, I am not a mother.
Sure, you can tell me that I have a motherly heart. I think every woman was created to have a motherly heart. You can tell me that I mother my nieces and nephews as well as the sisters in my ward who I visit teach (someone actually told me this yesterday) and that, therefore, makes me a mother. Yes, I get that I can be the "motherly type" to many people, but being the "motherly type" does not make me a mother. And that is not the point of Mother's day.
I don't want to stand up in church and be recognized as a mother on a day that should be reserved for those women who have given up so much of themselves and sacrificed so much of what they have in raising children. They have done more as real mothers than I could ever dream of doing as a "motherly" person. Mother's day is supposed to be about them. Not me. Nor should it be about the 18 year old girl sitting next to you who just graduated from high school unless, of course, she happens to be a mother. If she is, then praise her, honor her, let her know how much you appreciate her for the work she is doing to raise a righteous child of God. I am perfectly fine with that. I promise you will not offend me by honoring her.
When I finally happen to marry and have children of my own, I will gladly stand among those who have given all they have to raise righteous children of God. But for now, please let me sit on the sidelines as a single, childless woman and allow me to honor those who have actually earned the title Mother.
Being given a gift on Mother's day when I have not yet earned that title is, in my opinion, not necessary. Because of that, I took the gift I was given and gave it to someone who I thought truly deserved it.
My mother.
10 years ago
5 comments:
I simultaneously agree and disagree with you. The older I get, the more I celebrate the concepts taught by Sheri Dew and Julie Beck about the role of mother being an eternal role rather than a current position. That eternal nature, which is inherent to every woman deserves celebration. But I'll admit that my first year with a child, I was a bit annoyed with those childless women who wanted to claim celebration when I was the one who had endured the sleepless nights (my baby was five months old so the sleepless nights were fresh in my mind) and they were still living a life of much less sacrifice in that specific aspect. However, I have also learned that there is inherent blessings that come from those sleepless night, and sharing the one day of year with women who haven't endured them doesn't lessen the day for me. I feel more blessed, enriched, empowered and celebrated when I join hands with all adult women, regardless of their current situation, and celebrate that we are ALL divinely appointed, above all other responsibilities to fulfill the role of mother.
I also agree that there is a huge level of being politically correct...
Jenny,
I can see your points and on some level I agree with you. I believe as you do that as women we are ALL divinely appointed to fulfill the role of mother. But to me, Mother's day shouldn't be about that at all. If we, as women, want to celebrate our divine appointments, then there should be a day set aside for all women, regardless of current life situations, to do just that. I don't feel it necessary or particularly fair to use Mother's day as the platform to accomplish this. Do we do the same for all the men out there who are not yet fathers? Why don't we celebrate men then same way we celebrate women? Is it because they weren't divinely appointed to fulfill the role of father? If we can keep Father's Day as a day to honor and celebrate those who are actual fathers, then why can't we do the same thing for mothers?
And yes...there is a very high level of being politically correct. I think that is what bothers me more than anything.
I debated whether or not to say anything, but I'm just going to go ahead and say it.
While I agree that there is a lot of political correctness going on regarding Mother's Day, I'm glad that I'm not left out of the celebration. I want to be a mother, more than anything. I've sacrificed and am still sacrificing to become one and it hurts enough already that I haven't been blessed with children, yet. If I were "ignored" (yes, that is how I would feel) on Mother's Day, it would be salt to my wounds on an already tough day.
I know the sacrifices I am making are not the same sacrifices that a mother would make, but I am still sacrificing for my children, even if they haven't been born yet.
Camille, I can't begin to express how much admiration I have for you! I know from the many conversations we used to have how much you long to be a wife and mother, yet never once have I heard you complain about your current status in life. You may struggle internally, but nobody would ever know. You cheerfully accept your circumstances as best you can. I love that you didn't make Mother's Day about you but instead focused your attention on others. You are so selfless! Thanks for being such a great example to me!
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